It`s the tenth day of the program and I have to say that it has gone fairly well.

Diet

As you know, this is an attempt to go raw for 30 days. The idea is to go 100% raw, but as I`ve found, having two toddlers and a meat loving husband is NOT conducive to a totally raw diet. I keep nibbling while I make their food!

That being said, I`ve cut out most cooked food, junk food and sodas, meaning I`m on about a 90% raw diet. The first few days were very difficult for me because I didn`t like the food on the menu and didn`t want to stick with green smoothies all the time. One of the recipes on the list was pesto, with basil, pine nuts, etc. I added garlic, since I`m fond of it. But then I couldn`t figure out how to eat the delicious sauce. I mean, pesto is for pasta, right? It just didn`t seem right on a salad.

In the end, I came up with a great compromise, zucchini pasta! I made “linguine” by slicing it on the ripple setting on my veggie slicer. Despite my worries that it would taste blah, the zucchini was really nice and crisp and the pesto made it irresistible! So, I`ve been eating that about once a day.

Having some fat in the diet (avocado, pine nuts) has definitely made a difference in how I feel. I`m much more satisfied after eating a meal with some fat in it.

Fitness

I`m definitely lacking in the fitness department . . . I usually end up sitting at the computer all day, BUT there are a few things that I`ve been doing to keep myself more active.

Washing clothes by hand: I walk to hang each item instead of piling them in a tub to do all at once. Actually scrubbing by hand is a good workout, too!

Going to town: One of my goals, to counteract growing agoraphobia, is to get out of the house twice a week. So that`s pretty much shopping trips and I hike around the cobbled streets of Antigua twice a week.

Pilates: I have the video for Pilates for Dummies and that`s actually a really good, yet simple workout. I`m enjoying it, though I don`t get around to doing it every day . . . our tile floor is really HARD!

Weight

So far . . . nothing. This morning I actually stepped on the scale and had gained ten pounds!! Fortunately, it was a mistake, the boys had changed the calibration and set the scale ten lbs ahead . . . the first time I`ve been RELIEVED to still weigh 212!

How I Feel

Detox is a b*tch, let me tell you. First, it was ok. I just got some zits. Then I hit the emotional detox bit. Tears every day. Felt rather like PMS, to tell you the truth!

The past couple of days, I`ve been just exhausted. I`m sure part of that comes from being sleep deprived for the past 3 years, but still, this is way worse than normal. Yesterday, for example, I lay down for a nap at noon and woke up at 5:30!

Apart from that, I`m ok. No energy spurts or sudden mental clarity and I have to admit that I`m a bit disappointed with that. Since I`m a writer and have a lot of work right now, it`s hard to work through the exhaustion and turn out quality work, which is really stressful for me. I`m hoping to push past this part and get to the good stuff soon!

Also, I suspect I`m not drinking enough water, something that can easily be remedied.

Today, I`ve got all my course materials downloaded, it`s just a matter of printing them out. There is a workbook to fill out each day, a planner to plan and evaluate yourself at the beginning and end of the system and a fitness planner, as well as a few other odds and ends. The system includes two different meal planners. I`m going with the green one for two reasons . . . one, it`s supposed to be better for losing weight, because you don`t have all that fruit, and second, my body is craving more veggies than fruits. If things go the other way mid-way, I`ll probably incorporate more sweet fruits into my diet plan.

The system is complex, but simple to use, if that makes any sense.

Today, we hit the market in Antigua and came back with a huge amount of fresh food. There are some ingredients in the menu plan that I can`t find here, so I`m going to substitute other items. For now I have the following in my fridge:

• 12 baby zucchini
• 3 lbs fat round tomatoes
• 3 lbs strawberries
• 2 watermelons
• 2 cantelope
• 1 canary melon
• 1 papaya
• 1 lb. spinach
• 1 huge head of ruffle lettuce
• 1/2 lb garlic root
• 2 vanilla beans
• 5 huge limes
• 3 lbs onions
• 3 heads of garlic
• 2 pineapples
• 12 big carrots
• 24 bananas
• 2 enormous bunches of basil

I`ve also picked up some celery salt and a few dried herbs to spice things up. However, this isn`t all for me. While I`ll be eating a ton of fruit and veggies, so will my kids! They usually eat at least half the fruit I buy for my smoothies, so I knew to pick up extra, hence the doubling up of several items.

At the moment, I`m feeling excited and eager to begin. I know it`s going to be tough. However, I`m really tired of feeling so tired and lethargic. It`s time to get this show on the road!

However, due to some health problems that have come up and the fact that I am getting NO exercise, from working on the computer so much. I`m tired, irritable and having mood swings that are just insane and feel sick and gross all the time. Not to mention the whole looking in the mirror business.

Over the past few months, I`ve been toying with the idea of trying a raw diet. I did a three day green smoothie challenge, where you add spinach, chard or other greens to your regular fruit smoothie. It was great. I had more energy, a more stable mood and felt tons better. But then we hit a financial low and it was back to eating rice and pasta.

Thanks to that challenge, which was done through the Raw Divas, I actually ended up with a great opportunity . . . to do the Body Englightenment Challenge. It`s normally something that would be out of my price range, but I ended up getting in on this great opportunity in exchange for a testimonial and some articles on green smoothies.

The BES starts tomorrow. It`s WAY more intensive than I had imagined. It`s a 100% raw diet for 30 days, but that`s not all you focus on, there is also a fitness aspect, which I desperately need, and learning to think positive and keep your home clutter free. All in all, a lot of work to be cramming into 30 days! However, I think it will be good and plan to journal my experiences here. Will I be going raw afterwards? I don`t honestly know. I can`t see not ever eating chocolate cake again . . . but then again, if I feel better and more alive eating raw, why would I go back? We`ll see what happens!

All the diet menus that I´ve come across are so finicky that they turn me off right away. First of all, I love food, so telling me that I can have three peanuts and six grapes for a snack is like danging a baby sardine in front of a killer whale . . . it´s not going to be pretty!

Another thing is that I tend to be pretty picky. I don´t like seafood, so that rules out about 45% of diet menus I´ve come across! I´ll eat meat and veggies, etc. so that part is fine, but so many seem to include shrimp and fish in the diet and I really can´t stand those things.

Finally, I live in Guatemala, so brand names are virtually non-existent . . . at least the ones listed in all those diets! When I see a plan with yummy recipes that I can never make because the ingredients just aren´t available, it´s frustrating.

So I´m down to planning out my own. :S Not necessarily a good idea, since I´m no nutritionist, but if I´m going to drop at least 30 lbs before seeing my family, something must be done. Here´s what I´m thinking . . .

Breakfast Options

• Oatmeal with milk, molasses and banana, apple or raisins
• Smoothie with yogurt and fruit (papaya, banana, pineapple, etc.)
• Poached egg on wholewheat toast with a slice of cheese, plus a piece of fruit

Lunch Options

• Whole wheat veggie sandwich (two slices bread, mustard or avocado spread, top with shredded carrot, sprouts, tomato, cucumber, etc.
• Vegetable soup with pieces of chicken
• Potato salad made with lite mayo
• Corn/Tomato spread on whole wheat toast (bind with blended cooked chard)

Supper Options

• Poached chicken breast with salad and cooked potatoes/carrots
• Boiled egg, salad, baked potato with ricotta cheese
• Wilted greens (spinach, chard, etc.) with ricotta cheese, baked squash
• Potato Leek soup
• Baby squash with a little butter, carrots and green beans
• Boiled beans and poached eggs

Snacks

• Carrot, celery sticks for crunch
• Hard boiled egg
• Fruit (banana, apple, etc.)
• Lime water
• Unbuttered popcorn

As I find recipes to go with this plan, I´ll probably add them. The main thing is to avoid eating much in the way of carbs and to keep my body fueled with vegetables and fruit, mostly fresh, along with some protein, especially at night. Since I love to eat, I´m thinking the ability to nibble on fresh veggies is probably going to be key in this plan.

So, even with the pushing from a sister, I haven´t ventured out the front door of the property in a while. I literally leave the house once or twice a month, which is just sad.

Yesterday, Irving left early and the boys were going a bit nuts inside, so I decided today was the day and put on some shoes and headed out the door. We walked to the end of the block and bought some peanuts for Dorian, then we kept going and walked for about 5 blocks. Not a lot, but it wore the baby out! He couldn´t walk back, so I ended up carrying him, which was great exercise for me!

The best part? Both boys slept like LOGS last night, so it was definitely worth it! I´m going to try very hard to force myself out at least 3-5 times a week. In fact, I was thinking of going out without the boys so I could walk a bit faster, in the morning and then take them for a walk in the afternoon.

I´m really, really stressed out about this because there is a lot of paperwork to get through and to be honest, I really don´t know if this is possible to put together so fast.

However, IF it does work out . . . I desperately have to lose some weight! The last time my family saw me, I weighed about 130 lbs. :S And I really don´t want to have them looking at me in shock as they realize that I´ve gained another person in the 6 years that I´ve been gone! Not to mention, walking down the streets of my old hometown will be rather embarrassing. So now I really do need to push the weight thing.

The good news is that I walked 2,750 steps yesterday. If I can get that up to 3,000 a day for the next week, I´d be pretty happy. Then I can look at boosting it to 4,000 for the week after and so on and so forth until I get to 10,000. That has to make some kind of difference, right?

The average person walks between 2,000-5,000 steps a day, depending on how active they are. I recently read that the goal should be 10,000! So, with my trusty pedometer, I decided to find out just how many (or how few) steps I take in a day. The results were a bit surprising.

I honestly thought that I was so sedentary that I´d only log about 500-800 steps a day. Boy, was I wrong! Turns out all those trips to the bathroom after drinking ten cups of coffee add up. And putting kids to bed over and over again . . . well, all those steps count. Running back and forth between the stove and the baby who is trying to stuff bottle caps up his nose . . . even more steps. So it turns out that I´m not nearly as sedentary as I thought. In fact, I walked around 1,500 steps today. Which is still virtually nothing, but three times what I was expecting!

Now it all comes down to boosting the number of steps one takes during the day. I´m going to aim for 2,000 for the coming week and then raise it by 500 steps every week or so after that, if not more.

Tomorrow . . . tomorrow I´m back on the bandwagon with veggies and oatmeal. I promise. And for today, I´m not even going to look up the number of calories in a slice of delicious carrot cake, because that would just ruin the whole thing and there´s not much point having some without complete enjoyment.

When you are first starting to build that habit of eating healthy, I think you sometimes need to let yourself cheat and have something not so healthy. Yesterday was my cheat day. I had a candy bar and some Pepsi. Pepsi is my big downfall, unfortunately and has been a huge help in getting me to this weight. But I still crave it and once in a while, I have a little to help me feel like I´m not totally depriving myself.

It´s often easier to stay on the fruit and veggie bandwagon when you have had that little bit of sweet for the week.